i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
