WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
