he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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