Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
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he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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