I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
