cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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