Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
