i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
