Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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