If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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