that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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