dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
