The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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