You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
