Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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