I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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