His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed