Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.