She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems