I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
