how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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