u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
