How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
