Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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