i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
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I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
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You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize