dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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