She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
