dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When are your genitals available?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
