My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Two words: blizzard sex
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
