WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
