How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
