I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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