who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
