I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
