Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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