I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
