Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
