the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
