actually, I'm a sock model
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
