There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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