I need to stop coming to work sober
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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