just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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