I'm going to jail i love you
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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