yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize