laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
