everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
