He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
