but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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