never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
