And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
