imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
