i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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