i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
