..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
