STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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