God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
