it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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