I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
