Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
