weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
