fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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