I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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