my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
