hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
