I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
