so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
