So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
