My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
