Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
