so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He passed out mid-signature
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
