I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
