I'm really into asian looking animals
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
